Natural Compassion and a Life Decision.

So I went to a lecture about veganism.

sigh.

It was by Dr. Will Tuttle, author of The World Peace Diet.

I am really glad i went... He had some really great points, and it really changed my perspective on things.
Its funny though, because veganism is so much like a religion, there was alot of jargon, that sounded a little silly, it reminded me alot of church talk, except.... hippie talk. But it was really interesting stuff once you got down to it....

okay let me see i can give a kind of summary of the lecture....

First Dr. Tuttle, who was so head-of-a-cult charming and attractive, i was a little crushy almost, told us his background and where his ideas came from. He grew up in the northeast, and he had these CRAZY stories about going to the camp where they actually learned to kill their own food. Each kid was given their own chicken to behead and they all gathered around the cow who wasn't producing enough milk that year, and learned how to shoot it and behead it, and drain it of blood, etc. He told these stories really matter of factly, he wasn't just trying to gross us all out and say that animal killing is horrific, he was just telling us pieces of his journey towards veganism. I think he said that he wasn't even bothered by killing the chicken or the cow, he was convinced that it was just something that needed to be done.
When he was older he decided to travel across the country as a kind of spiritual journey, a way of meditating. He lived without money, and fished for some of his food. He said he felt really bad about killing the fish.
Eventually he got to a commune that was vegan, where he learned that a vegan lifestyle was possible, and the more he meditated on it, the more vegan he became.

I have to say, when I was a child I was very sensitive to the reality of eating meat. Once me and my family went fishing, and caught two catfish. I remember being really fascinated with them. When I found out that my parents had them sliced up, and that they were being served for dinner, I cried and cried. I wouldn't eat a bite.
When my mom served lamb, I cried, I couldn't stop thinking about what it really was, a lamb!
I remember my dad telling me about how when he lived in Cambodia and the cook brought home rabbits that he thought were really cute, and then they were served for dinner. I was horrified.
I remember my mom telling me that the pigs we eat are really mean, they all bite each other and you cant get near them. They will bite you. They are awful creatures. She convinced me that this made it okay, and honestly that thought did comfort me.
She said her class took a field trip to the hot dog factory and she saw the live pigs go in and the sausages come out... that thought horrified me as a child as well. I would wonder how they killed them. How they felt.

I have been saying that I don't really disagree with eating meat morally, I just wanted to explore other possibilities.

Honestly, I spent alot of time ignoring aspects of the meat industry, I don't know why it WOULD be wrong. Thats how the world works right? The food chain? its natural, right? Our bodies need what animal products have, why would it be wrong? I don't know?

But here is the thing. If I was a settler out in the middle of nowhere, with no packaged, pre-killed meat to buy for a small price. If I was this settler, and I had a bunch of cows in my pasture, I don't think i could make myself look that cow in they eye and take its life so i can eat some meat. I would garden and eat wild grass and mushrooms so that I wouldn't have to kill that big eyed cow.

The thought of personally taking something's life so that i can eat meat, is just awful to me. I couldn't do it.

I guess if I convinced myself hard enough, If i told myself that I respected the cow for giving up his life for me, if I convinced myself that this is how the animal chain worked and that it is natural, I guess maybe if I told myself those things enough I could make myself shoot that cow right behind the ears, then cut off the head and drain it of blood, then slice it open and cut up what i want to make into delicious steaks for dinner.

But I would have to do alot of convincing...

So do I really want to be a part of something that I have to convince myself is okay?

Tuttle mentioned that the more he began to listen to himself, the more he tried to reach a higher consciousness, the more sensitive he became to killing animals for food.
I identify with that immensely.
If i really meditate on eating animals, I feel terrible about it.
If i think about the animal industry I feel awful about it.

So part of this guys point is that, as a community, we all ignore something like this. We all ignore our guilt about eating animals because we like eating meat, and everyones done it forever, and why shouldn't we? its how the world works right?

This guy says that by repeatedly ignoring our conscience, and eating meat despite our uncomfortableness with the killing, does really terrible things to our community. Because how can we further self development when something like this is in our lives? How can you develop that sensitivity when you have something like this to ignore/ rationalize? It stunts our higher consciousness. He said that you cant raise your consciousness higher than your actions, and i think that is a good point... here is a quote from him:

"We have a situation where we think that as we evolve spiritually, we will naturally and automatically act in more loving and harmonious and ethical ways. So I hear it quite often as I travel around and do lectures at progressive churches and centers, that when people’s consciousness becomes higher, they will naturally stop causing suffering to others, and they’ll naturally become vegetarian or vegan and so forth. But I believe that we will not raise our consciousness until we change our behavior because our behavior keeps our consciousness at a certain level.[...] we harden our hearts and make it difficult for ourselves to do anything but stay on a plateau spiritually."

Some of the things he was saying were a little far fetched sounding... For example, he spoke of the problems of humanity, rape, the break-up of the family, war, obesity etc. being a kind of 'boomerang' effect of the suffering that we impose on animals every day. Like Karma or something. I don't know about that, I don't really think that the breaking up of American families is a karmic reaction from splitting up animal families... But I do think that a continual ignorance of this 'natural compassion' that we have could definitely cause a huge decrease in the compassion demonstrated by our society.

He said that the viewing of animals as commodities results in the viewing of people as commodities.

I have to admit, if i had to behead a cow once a week, i think it would make inflicting harm on a person much easier. I think that a constant ignoring of compassion, makes your compassion much less active/prevalent.

So here's the thing. I've realized that I have been ignoring my natural compassion by participation in my culture's animal based diet.

So my vegetarianism is no longer an experiment, it is a life decision.

maybe this will raise my consciousness a little higher.