So this exploration of vegetarianism has now permeated every part of my life. Which is really quite amazing. So here is the thing, I told you I decided to become vegetarian permanently because when I really think about what i am actually eating, when i really think about what it means to drink a glass of milk, when i think about the things that are going on in the world that makes these things possible, i feel uncomfortable. it is something i do not want to be part of my life. i do not want to have to ignore the pain and death caused by our food system multiple times a day when i eat. i want to fully realize things, i want to truly understand, fully feel, i don't want to have to ignore the truth in any aspect of my life.
because i want to reach higher consciousness. i want to progress.
i think if you're shutting yourself down like that, when you're ignoring something so horrific, you are limiting yourself.
so now, in my whole life i have been figuring out that i need to align my entire life up with my conscience, i need to stop ignoring things, i need to stop doing things that i do not feel is right,
for my own good
so i can progress.
another way that this change in diet has changed me ...
i suppose that in my former thinking i was constantly trying to revert to a more natural way of living. i thought that natural was best... i don't really know what the basis of this feeling was.... perhaps its based in a kind of spiritual mindset, like... we were made to be this certain way, so it is the best way...
but through this change i have been thinking...
i mean i know a vegan diet isn't really natural. i know that our bodies need B12 and it isn't easily accessible in anything vegan. i know that i am living in a way that just is... unnatural.
so it goes against my old feelings of natural being best..
so why did i decide that something 'unnatural' is something i need to do? why is that okay for me now?
well... its progress...
shouldn't the human race progress?
shouldn't we strive to be the best we can be?
so from an evolutionary view point i could say that the human race has evolved these things called souls and brains and they are the cause of this natural compassion for other beings... so... isn't it natural to do what our evolved bodies, our evolved brains and souls tell us to do? natural isn't necessarily the way we have always been....
i have been reading Jonathan Livingston Seagull and it applies in so many ways to my thinking...
like...
so the book is about this seagull and it wants to progress, it strives to reach perfection ( instead of merely sustain itself). it wants to fly perfectly
so there is this part where its trying to fly extremely fast, but its wings are too long, and he thinks that perhaps he shouldn't try to fly any faster, he shouldn't try to reach perfection because his body isn't made for it. it isn't natural for him to fly so well.
but then he realizes that if he alters his body, if he changes his wings by tucking them in like a falcon he can reach his goals, he can get closer to perfection....
so if we have to do things that seem unnatural to progress....
(it really isn't unnatural, is it? because our minds, our natural minds are moving us forward)
the way to perfection, the way to higher consciousness requires change... it requires us to do things that no human has done before....
crazy.
what great art this has been.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Friday, April 20, 2007
Natural Compassion and a Life Decision.
So I went to a lecture about veganism.
sigh.
It was by Dr. Will Tuttle, author of The World Peace Diet.
I am really glad i went... He had some really great points, and it really changed my perspective on things.
Its funny though, because veganism is so much like a religion, there was alot of jargon, that sounded a little silly, it reminded me alot of church talk, except.... hippie talk. But it was really interesting stuff once you got down to it....
okay let me see i can give a kind of summary of the lecture....
First Dr. Tuttle, who was so head-of-a-cult charming and attractive, i was a little crushy almost, told us his background and where his ideas came from. He grew up in the northeast, and he had these CRAZY stories about going to the camp where they actually learned to kill their own food. Each kid was given their own chicken to behead and they all gathered around the cow who wasn't producing enough milk that year, and learned how to shoot it and behead it, and drain it of blood, etc. He told these stories really matter of factly, he wasn't just trying to gross us all out and say that animal killing is horrific, he was just telling us pieces of his journey towards veganism. I think he said that he wasn't even bothered by killing the chicken or the cow, he was convinced that it was just something that needed to be done.
When he was older he decided to travel across the country as a kind of spiritual journey, a way of meditating. He lived without money, and fished for some of his food. He said he felt really bad about killing the fish.
Eventually he got to a commune that was vegan, where he learned that a vegan lifestyle was possible, and the more he meditated on it, the more vegan he became.
I have to say, when I was a child I was very sensitive to the reality of eating meat. Once me and my family went fishing, and caught two catfish. I remember being really fascinated with them. When I found out that my parents had them sliced up, and that they were being served for dinner, I cried and cried. I wouldn't eat a bite.
When my mom served lamb, I cried, I couldn't stop thinking about what it really was, a lamb!
I remember my dad telling me about how when he lived in Cambodia and the cook brought home rabbits that he thought were really cute, and then they were served for dinner. I was horrified.
I remember my mom telling me that the pigs we eat are really mean, they all bite each other and you cant get near them. They will bite you. They are awful creatures. She convinced me that this made it okay, and honestly that thought did comfort me.
She said her class took a field trip to the hot dog factory and she saw the live pigs go in and the sausages come out... that thought horrified me as a child as well. I would wonder how they killed them. How they felt.
I have been saying that I don't really disagree with eating meat morally, I just wanted to explore other possibilities.
Honestly, I spent alot of time ignoring aspects of the meat industry, I don't know why it WOULD be wrong. Thats how the world works right? The food chain? its natural, right? Our bodies need what animal products have, why would it be wrong? I don't know?
But here is the thing. If I was a settler out in the middle of nowhere, with no packaged, pre-killed meat to buy for a small price. If I was this settler, and I had a bunch of cows in my pasture, I don't think i could make myself look that cow in they eye and take its life so i can eat some meat. I would garden and eat wild grass and mushrooms so that I wouldn't have to kill that big eyed cow.
The thought of personally taking something's life so that i can eat meat, is just awful to me. I couldn't do it.
I guess if I convinced myself hard enough, If i told myself that I respected the cow for giving up his life for me, if I convinced myself that this is how the animal chain worked and that it is natural, I guess maybe if I told myself those things enough I could make myself shoot that cow right behind the ears, then cut off the head and drain it of blood, then slice it open and cut up what i want to make into delicious steaks for dinner.
But I would have to do alot of convincing...
So do I really want to be a part of something that I have to convince myself is okay?
Tuttle mentioned that the more he began to listen to himself, the more he tried to reach a higher consciousness, the more sensitive he became to killing animals for food.
I identify with that immensely.
If i really meditate on eating animals, I feel terrible about it.
If i think about the animal industry I feel awful about it.
So part of this guys point is that, as a community, we all ignore something like this. We all ignore our guilt about eating animals because we like eating meat, and everyones done it forever, and why shouldn't we? its how the world works right?
This guy says that by repeatedly ignoring our conscience, and eating meat despite our uncomfortableness with the killing, does really terrible things to our community. Because how can we further self development when something like this is in our lives? How can you develop that sensitivity when you have something like this to ignore/ rationalize? It stunts our higher consciousness. He said that you cant raise your consciousness higher than your actions, and i think that is a good point... here is a quote from him:
"We have a situation where we think that as we evolve spiritually, we will naturally and automatically act in more loving and harmonious and ethical ways. So I hear it quite often as I travel around and do lectures at progressive churches and centers, that when people’s consciousness becomes higher, they will naturally stop causing suffering to others, and they’ll naturally become vegetarian or vegan and so forth. But I believe that we will not raise our consciousness until we change our behavior because our behavior keeps our consciousness at a certain level.[...] we harden our hearts and make it difficult for ourselves to do anything but stay on a plateau spiritually."
Some of the things he was saying were a little far fetched sounding... For example, he spoke of the problems of humanity, rape, the break-up of the family, war, obesity etc. being a kind of 'boomerang' effect of the suffering that we impose on animals every day. Like Karma or something. I don't know about that, I don't really think that the breaking up of American families is a karmic reaction from splitting up animal families... But I do think that a continual ignorance of this 'natural compassion' that we have could definitely cause a huge decrease in the compassion demonstrated by our society.
He said that the viewing of animals as commodities results in the viewing of people as commodities.
I have to admit, if i had to behead a cow once a week, i think it would make inflicting harm on a person much easier. I think that a constant ignoring of compassion, makes your compassion much less active/prevalent.
So here's the thing. I've realized that I have been ignoring my natural compassion by participation in my culture's animal based diet.
So my vegetarianism is no longer an experiment, it is a life decision.
maybe this will raise my consciousness a little higher.
sigh.
It was by Dr. Will Tuttle, author of The World Peace Diet.
I am really glad i went... He had some really great points, and it really changed my perspective on things.
Its funny though, because veganism is so much like a religion, there was alot of jargon, that sounded a little silly, it reminded me alot of church talk, except.... hippie talk. But it was really interesting stuff once you got down to it....
okay let me see i can give a kind of summary of the lecture....
First Dr. Tuttle, who was so head-of-a-cult charming and attractive, i was a little crushy almost, told us his background and where his ideas came from. He grew up in the northeast, and he had these CRAZY stories about going to the camp where they actually learned to kill their own food. Each kid was given their own chicken to behead and they all gathered around the cow who wasn't producing enough milk that year, and learned how to shoot it and behead it, and drain it of blood, etc. He told these stories really matter of factly, he wasn't just trying to gross us all out and say that animal killing is horrific, he was just telling us pieces of his journey towards veganism. I think he said that he wasn't even bothered by killing the chicken or the cow, he was convinced that it was just something that needed to be done.
When he was older he decided to travel across the country as a kind of spiritual journey, a way of meditating. He lived without money, and fished for some of his food. He said he felt really bad about killing the fish.
Eventually he got to a commune that was vegan, where he learned that a vegan lifestyle was possible, and the more he meditated on it, the more vegan he became.
I have to say, when I was a child I was very sensitive to the reality of eating meat. Once me and my family went fishing, and caught two catfish. I remember being really fascinated with them. When I found out that my parents had them sliced up, and that they were being served for dinner, I cried and cried. I wouldn't eat a bite.
When my mom served lamb, I cried, I couldn't stop thinking about what it really was, a lamb!
I remember my dad telling me about how when he lived in Cambodia and the cook brought home rabbits that he thought were really cute, and then they were served for dinner. I was horrified.
I remember my mom telling me that the pigs we eat are really mean, they all bite each other and you cant get near them. They will bite you. They are awful creatures. She convinced me that this made it okay, and honestly that thought did comfort me.
She said her class took a field trip to the hot dog factory and she saw the live pigs go in and the sausages come out... that thought horrified me as a child as well. I would wonder how they killed them. How they felt.
I have been saying that I don't really disagree with eating meat morally, I just wanted to explore other possibilities.
Honestly, I spent alot of time ignoring aspects of the meat industry, I don't know why it WOULD be wrong. Thats how the world works right? The food chain? its natural, right? Our bodies need what animal products have, why would it be wrong? I don't know?
But here is the thing. If I was a settler out in the middle of nowhere, with no packaged, pre-killed meat to buy for a small price. If I was this settler, and I had a bunch of cows in my pasture, I don't think i could make myself look that cow in they eye and take its life so i can eat some meat. I would garden and eat wild grass and mushrooms so that I wouldn't have to kill that big eyed cow.
The thought of personally taking something's life so that i can eat meat, is just awful to me. I couldn't do it.
I guess if I convinced myself hard enough, If i told myself that I respected the cow for giving up his life for me, if I convinced myself that this is how the animal chain worked and that it is natural, I guess maybe if I told myself those things enough I could make myself shoot that cow right behind the ears, then cut off the head and drain it of blood, then slice it open and cut up what i want to make into delicious steaks for dinner.
But I would have to do alot of convincing...
So do I really want to be a part of something that I have to convince myself is okay?
Tuttle mentioned that the more he began to listen to himself, the more he tried to reach a higher consciousness, the more sensitive he became to killing animals for food.
I identify with that immensely.
If i really meditate on eating animals, I feel terrible about it.
If i think about the animal industry I feel awful about it.
So part of this guys point is that, as a community, we all ignore something like this. We all ignore our guilt about eating animals because we like eating meat, and everyones done it forever, and why shouldn't we? its how the world works right?
This guy says that by repeatedly ignoring our conscience, and eating meat despite our uncomfortableness with the killing, does really terrible things to our community. Because how can we further self development when something like this is in our lives? How can you develop that sensitivity when you have something like this to ignore/ rationalize? It stunts our higher consciousness. He said that you cant raise your consciousness higher than your actions, and i think that is a good point... here is a quote from him:
"We have a situation where we think that as we evolve spiritually, we will naturally and automatically act in more loving and harmonious and ethical ways. So I hear it quite often as I travel around and do lectures at progressive churches and centers, that when people’s consciousness becomes higher, they will naturally stop causing suffering to others, and they’ll naturally become vegetarian or vegan and so forth. But I believe that we will not raise our consciousness until we change our behavior because our behavior keeps our consciousness at a certain level.[...] we harden our hearts and make it difficult for ourselves to do anything but stay on a plateau spiritually."
Some of the things he was saying were a little far fetched sounding... For example, he spoke of the problems of humanity, rape, the break-up of the family, war, obesity etc. being a kind of 'boomerang' effect of the suffering that we impose on animals every day. Like Karma or something. I don't know about that, I don't really think that the breaking up of American families is a karmic reaction from splitting up animal families... But I do think that a continual ignorance of this 'natural compassion' that we have could definitely cause a huge decrease in the compassion demonstrated by our society.
He said that the viewing of animals as commodities results in the viewing of people as commodities.
I have to admit, if i had to behead a cow once a week, i think it would make inflicting harm on a person much easier. I think that a constant ignoring of compassion, makes your compassion much less active/prevalent.
So here's the thing. I've realized that I have been ignoring my natural compassion by participation in my culture's animal based diet.
So my vegetarianism is no longer an experiment, it is a life decision.
maybe this will raise my consciousness a little higher.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Well Michael has been doing his blog about eating and its making me jealous.... so i started my own.
So I started this vegetarian thing about a month ago. I am Ovo Vegetarian, to be exact, which means no dairy, except eggs. Its hard to explain my exact reasoning behind beginning this journey, but here is a general idea.
I was unhappy with my former diet, I was eating things that were made with ingredients i had never heard of out of factories with processes i couldnt even fathom, things i could never dream of creating myself, things made by a giant industry of machines and money. I was so disconnected from the things i was putting in my body. So reliant upon this giant crazy mass of jumbly food factory industry. I got money, and traded it for plastic wrapped pre made "food".
I didnt even hardly GLANCE at the produce section... i mean i liked fruits and vegetables, i just rarely ate them... because of the other flavor, fat packed availabilities that seemed like the thing to eat.
so i decided i needed to drastically change my diet, to force myself to appreciate the produce section.
So my plan was to simplify. I wanted to appreciate food that was simply... grown. from seeds. i wanted to grow food myself. i wanted to more connected to what is sustaining me.
in my dream theory of perfection i would be completely living off the land with a chicken birthing me food every morning, dependant upon nature, dependant upon the seasons and the rain and my own labor. creating an appreciation for plants based on thier identity as amazing, delicious, valuable miiiracles.
okay, but because that would be really hard and everything, i am going to be Ovo Vegetarian, for now. Baby steps! right?
my decision wasnt really based on any moral beliefs or any vision of world saving, i just wanted to make myself grow and appreciate things i should be appreciating...
and im not too strict, not crazy strict about this way of eating, but i'm trying to learn and grow, and thats what i am doing.
Well I have been pleasantly suprised,
not only have i started enjoying the produce section ( i almost WORSHIP good fruit now)
but I have learned quite a few other lessons as well....
Here are some unexpected things of greatness that have come from this life change:
Okay, as many of us do, i have this tendency to do things that are bad for me when i am not feeling that great. Like, drink a soda, or cook a fantastic meal, or drink a milkshake, or spend 100 bucks on stuff i dont need. So i had put myself on a pretty strict budget that has been working well for me lately because i kept overspending, and my main outlet of emotion had become eating delicious unhealthy food. Cooking is terrifically therapeutic for me, so when i felt down, I was often cooking delicious but terribly unhealthy meals. So now, I am only eating healthy food, my cooking is great for me. Now when I need an outlet for some crazy emotions i finally finally finally have something thats GOOD for me to do.... thats something ive been needing for a really long time. i cant tell you how great of an unexpected personal triumph that has been.
Although I didnt really start this diet as a political statement, or a moral decision, i have to admit.... it feels really good NOT to be a part of so many of our world's problems.... I just read this interesting article:
U.S. could feed 800 million people with grain that livestock eat. Not only am I not contributing to the terrible lives that so many animals have to live to support this country's addiction to tons of meat, but I am also helping the environment ( Click that!). It feels kinda good to not be the problem, you know? I actually have this I-can't-make-a-difference complex which keeps me from doing things like this, but now that i've unintentionally put myself in this situation, i like it. Thats good for me. I think i might stick to vegetarianism for this nice feeling...
plus im way healthier
plus im getting a little skinnier
plus i get to try new restaurants...
more and more great things... ill add more later... as i go, i want to add recipes i like... plus i think ill talk about the rest of my changing life into this blog as well....
in other news: taste some fruit, its amazing... better than candy... and im not just saying that, its really much better than candy. mmmm.
So I started this vegetarian thing about a month ago. I am Ovo Vegetarian, to be exact, which means no dairy, except eggs. Its hard to explain my exact reasoning behind beginning this journey, but here is a general idea.
I was unhappy with my former diet, I was eating things that were made with ingredients i had never heard of out of factories with processes i couldnt even fathom, things i could never dream of creating myself, things made by a giant industry of machines and money. I was so disconnected from the things i was putting in my body. So reliant upon this giant crazy mass of jumbly food factory industry. I got money, and traded it for plastic wrapped pre made "food".
I didnt even hardly GLANCE at the produce section... i mean i liked fruits and vegetables, i just rarely ate them... because of the other flavor, fat packed availabilities that seemed like the thing to eat.
so i decided i needed to drastically change my diet, to force myself to appreciate the produce section.
So my plan was to simplify. I wanted to appreciate food that was simply... grown. from seeds. i wanted to grow food myself. i wanted to more connected to what is sustaining me.
in my dream theory of perfection i would be completely living off the land with a chicken birthing me food every morning, dependant upon nature, dependant upon the seasons and the rain and my own labor. creating an appreciation for plants based on thier identity as amazing, delicious, valuable miiiracles.
okay, but because that would be really hard and everything, i am going to be Ovo Vegetarian, for now. Baby steps! right?
my decision wasnt really based on any moral beliefs or any vision of world saving, i just wanted to make myself grow and appreciate things i should be appreciating...
and im not too strict, not crazy strict about this way of eating, but i'm trying to learn and grow, and thats what i am doing.
Well I have been pleasantly suprised,
not only have i started enjoying the produce section ( i almost WORSHIP good fruit now)
but I have learned quite a few other lessons as well....
Here are some unexpected things of greatness that have come from this life change:
Okay, as many of us do, i have this tendency to do things that are bad for me when i am not feeling that great. Like, drink a soda, or cook a fantastic meal, or drink a milkshake, or spend 100 bucks on stuff i dont need. So i had put myself on a pretty strict budget that has been working well for me lately because i kept overspending, and my main outlet of emotion had become eating delicious unhealthy food. Cooking is terrifically therapeutic for me, so when i felt down, I was often cooking delicious but terribly unhealthy meals. So now, I am only eating healthy food, my cooking is great for me. Now when I need an outlet for some crazy emotions i finally finally finally have something thats GOOD for me to do.... thats something ive been needing for a really long time. i cant tell you how great of an unexpected personal triumph that has been.
Although I didnt really start this diet as a political statement, or a moral decision, i have to admit.... it feels really good NOT to be a part of so many of our world's problems.... I just read this interesting article:
U.S. could feed 800 million people with grain that livestock eat. Not only am I not contributing to the terrible lives that so many animals have to live to support this country's addiction to tons of meat, but I am also helping the environment ( Click that!). It feels kinda good to not be the problem, you know? I actually have this I-can't-make-a-difference complex which keeps me from doing things like this, but now that i've unintentionally put myself in this situation, i like it. Thats good for me. I think i might stick to vegetarianism for this nice feeling...
plus im way healthier
plus im getting a little skinnier
plus i get to try new restaurants...
more and more great things... ill add more later... as i go, i want to add recipes i like... plus i think ill talk about the rest of my changing life into this blog as well....
in other news: taste some fruit, its amazing... better than candy... and im not just saying that, its really much better than candy. mmmm.
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